Review of a Favorite Book: Preparing Sons

I recently finished reading an EXCELLENT book by Steven Maxwell: Preparing Sons to Provide for a Single-Income Family. We were blessed to have the Maxwells visit the TEACH homeschooling convention in Connecticut this past June, and I purchased this book at their booth.

Especially written to fathers, this book provides a practical overview of implementing Biblical, principles in training sons. As I read this book, I could identify things in my own life that ideally would have been trained out of me at a young age, and I must say this book not only concerns itself with the training of sons to provide for a single-income family, but training them for life itself!

I strongly recommend this book to every Christian father of sons!

(On a side note, I must say I hold nothing against my parents at all for the way they raised me. God rescued them from some depressing family behavior patterns that they grew up with in unsaved and broken families. By His grace, I was raised according to the light and wisdom given to them. Now I have a charge entrusted to me to raise my children even better. My parents grew up with no personal knowledge of God. As they were raising me and my brother, they were learning more and more about the Lord and His Word, and they taught these things to us. Whenever Ken and I may start families in the future, we are starting from a point with more understanding of the Lord than our parents did, so we can pour this into the next generation, and even more as we learn more about the Lord. Each generation ought to become more godly with the Lord's help!)

Earning Potential
In this book, Mr. Maxwell first discusses typical factors that affect a son's earning potential—vocation, education, and skill level—but introduces the idea that there are more foundational preparations to be made. He provides some alternative factors: view of work, character, eagerness to learn, God's blessing, and God's discipline. Each of these are illustrated with real-life examples, to bring the ideas down to earth.

Next, he discusses things that affect what determines "making ends meet":

• Living according to needs
  versus wants; you can't live a life of luxury on a small income.
• Size of family and residence location
  Some states have higher costs of living than others, and that cost is also affected by the number of blessings from the Lord you receive!
• Character
  Laziness, faintheartedness, procrastination, faithlessness, and impatience will all negatively affect spending habits.
• Bad appetites
  May be as simple as a hobby that takes too much time or money, or something like alcohol. More on this later.
• God's hand of discipline
  For example, extra expenses may increase because he may not be giving money to the Lord's work.
• Spouse
  Not to put undue blame on the wife, but if the wife has shortcomings of desiring to spend too much money, it will hamper their ability to make ends meet.

Parents must influence these things long before they become problems in their son's life.

Parental Influence
Mr. Maxwell delves deeper into the parents', and especially the father's, responsibility with the three pillars of training sons: the father's training, example, and prayer. As fathers know better than I, sons will imitate their fathers (that reminds me of this cute post). That's why it's important to watch your own behavior for anything that could negatively impact your children. I am very encouraged also by the repetitive emphasis Mr. Maxwell places on prayer. It is the most effective tool in bringing up godly sons.

Some necessary foundations are then enumerated, first of all, salvation. There is little to be gained in training a son to provide effectively for his family if he loses his own soul (like Matthew 16:26). Secondly, a personal quiet time with the Lord every day is essential. How else but through study of the Bible and prayer will the son ever know what is God's will for his life? And Jesus said "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matthew 6:31). Further, Mr. Maxwell points out the greatest hindrance to a quality, daily quiet time is pride. He also stresses the importance of memorizing and meditating on scripture, making it your delight all the day long. Such treasures in the Word can be so discovered!

He then goes on to talk in more detail about the practicalities and impact of proper stewardship, godly character, and a son's view of work.

Appetites
Next, the convicting chapter "Appetites." The first heading within the chapter is "What could be wrong with that?" A challenging question, indeed. This will make any father find something that he could change about his life so as not to negatively influence his son, as well as a keener sense of how innocent-looking activities can be a detriment to a godly son. This is not done in a legalistic way, however, and it is so refreshing! Always the emphasis is on seeking God's direction so as to be pleasing and glorifying to Him, with the goal that your son will do the same.

Some issues addressed in a non-legalistic and loving way are entertainment and recreation, movies and TV, watching sports and playing organized sports, hunting and fishing, recreational vehicles, eating, and any sin. Many of these "harmless" activities certainly become harmful when too much time or money is invested in them. "There is nothing inherently wrong with these types of outdoor sports—unless they take a dad away from his family. If they do, I think a man would have a hard time justifying such activities Scripturally...However, like anything, seeking the Lord's direction and self-control are necessary" (p.97).

After this list, he presents some postitive examples of appetites: evangelism, seeking a closer walk with the Lord, studying the Bible, serving the needs of others, desire to be a man of God, always pleasing Him.

Practicalities
The next four chapters cover ages 3-6, 7-12, 13-graduation, and post high school, regarding what things would be good to train your sons in and where their attitudes should be in the following areas: spiritual life, serving, work, school, play, computers, character, leadership, gaining useful work experience, higher education. There is so much wisdom in these chapters—not only "know-how" but "do-how," as Mr. Maxwell has sought to implement these same things in his own family, and uses examples from his experience. One thing that amazes me is when their son Joseph was ten, he began learning computer programming! Talk about useful computer time instead of video games...!

All along, he stresses the importance of prayer and seeking God's leading in your sons' lives. You really have to read this book!

The final chapter gives final encouragement to the parents who can't train sons on their own, but only with the help of the Heavenly Father!

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It was a wonderful, inspiring read for me, looking forward to someday when God may bless me with sons, but there also are some things I know I want to work on in my life, with God's power, that I may be a more prepared father in the future.

I encourage the parents of every boy to get this book!

Mexico: Part 10

Thursday, March 16

Today on our agenda was going to the capital of the state, Guanajuato, Guanajuato (like New York, NY!), which was about an hour's drive to the east of Leon. Since Nancy had taken us to the Landrums' house yesterday via oruga, we now knew how to get there; so we went alone.

Just before the team time started, Oscar showed up. He was supposed to have come yesterday to help out with the tract distribution, but got the day mixed up, and so here he was! Once he understood he arrived on the wrong day, he decided he could go with us to Guanajuato since he had the day free anyway.

I fail to remember who brought the devotional today. Perhaps it was Marshall. Oscar understood English fairly well, so we didn't feel bad about speaking in English the whole time! When it came time for singing, we sang some songs in Spanish and some in English, including Maravillas (God of Wonders), Señor Tu Nombre Exaltaré and it's counterpart Lord I Lift Your Name on High. Then we sang a unique song in 5/4 timing: How Deep the Father's Love for Us. Wonderful, deep words in that hymn!

Ryan, Celina, Emily, Beth, Amy, Willie, me, Marshall, Caleb

Willie said he didn't know most of these modern "praise songs" very well and was happy to hand his twelve-string guitar over to me to accompany the singing, since I had gotten familiar with them while I was in college.

Oscar volunteered to help drive us to Guanajuato, so Amy, Beth, Marshall, Emily, Celina, Scott, and I all traveled with him in his Mercury van. The middle bench seat was taken out so Emily, Celina, and I all sat on the floor. For an hour drive. Mexico is such fun!

Amy, Beth, and Marshall

Some typical scenery outside

First glimpse of Guanajuato nestled in the mountains

The road into the city wound around tightly as we made our way up a mountain where there is a good view of Guanajuato. The government pays the people to paint the houses and buildings vivid colors so they look good for the tourists!

Right next to the lookout was a statue of El Pípila, a historic figure who stormed the fortress in Guanajuato some centuries ago. I didn't learn the story.

We browsed some souvenier shops, and some of the others bought shirts or mugs. Then we took another group photo.

Oscar, Willie, Ken, me, Scott, Emily, Caleb, Ryan, Marshall

Beth, Celina, Amy

While Craig and Oscar parked the cars in a lot, the rest of us walked down from the overlook through narrow alleys and stone steps, finally reaching the streets. They were all cobblestone and only one car-width wide. It's quite an old city, not built for cars. We met up with Craig and Oscar at a tree-covered plaza, where Willie continually distributed tracts.

There we also met Atsushi, a Japanese graduate of Emmaus Bible College and friend of many of the students. He was living in Guanajuato, teaching at the University. Interestingly, his Spanish was better than his English, so he would talk to Craig and Brenda in Spanish. I had learned from Caleb previously that Japanese and Spanish basically have the same pronunciation, so it makes sense that Atsushi could pick up Spanish easier. He took us around showing us some of the sights of the city.

Us at the top steps of the University. Inside an opulently decorated church building.

A pretty veiw outside the church building

Now I must digress a little at this point to fill in some detail from earlier. It may have been a day or two earlier that this was brought up after our team time ended: Ryan and Caleb and Scott mentioned something about a group of men at Emmaus (perhaps that one or more of them are part of) that decided to be gentlemanly—opening doors for ladies, standing when a lady enters the room, pulling out her chair when she sits at the table. We had all affirmed those are good practices, the young ladies said that they appreciate them and that they make them smile, and the young men said as long as they smile when they do such things for them, they will continue to do such things! ;)

Back to the point: as we headed back to the green plaza from our tour, Ryan spotted a little stand selling all kinds of beautiful flowers, and went over to it as we passed by. The rest of us continued on, and he soon he caught up with the group, carrying four red carnations, which he then gave to each of the young ladies. This was another evidence of that "gentlemen's club," and a touching reminder to us all that we appreciate godly young ladies. Caleb made a point of complimenting Ryan for that gesture, and I know the ladies must have all felt special.

Once we got back to the plaza, we met a missionary family based in the city—Joel and Amy Hernandez, and Ivan and Sarah their children. Ivan was attending university and was practicing his very good English with us as we ate lunch (late in the afternoon of course). We were eating in a nice restaurant next to the plaza, where there was a jazz pianist playing lots of American big band/jazz on a keyboard with its accompaniment styles. My brother, Ken, who is a piano tuner, remarked that was the closest he came to seeing a piano all week!

Sadly, Marshall wasn't feeling well in the stomach, and only had a glass of water before heading out to rest on a bench in the plaza.

After lunch we said goodbye to the Hernandezes and Atsushi, and went to the market. The Market was huge—a big building with hundreds of little shops selling shirts, leather products, food, sunglasses... I don't even know what all. Here's a view from the second level:

I was not going to buy anything unless it was useful to me, so as not to waste money. Not far inside the building I saw a shop selling leather belts. I knew I had been in need of one, so I bought a genuine leather belt for about $8.50. Good deal.

As we headed back to the cars, we stoped at the Teatro Cervantes where there was a large statue of Don Quixote and his squire, Sancho.

Beth, me, Amy, Emily, Scott, Caleb offering Don Quixote a tract, Willie

Atsushi and Ryan

Scott
Ryan, Atsushi, and Marshall

Atsushi, Craig, and Brenda

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During the trip back to Leon it got dark (because it was late), and we began to see some thunderstorms.Ooh! I thought excitedly, we finally get to experience some weather other than sun! Ha! The rain lasted a couple of minutes at the most. It was a sprinkling of large raindrops. I guess March isn't the rainy season, right? Anyway, Scott got a couple of good photos of lightning with his camera, so he was happy.

We drove directly to the kinder on the east side of Leon for the Thursday night church meeting. It was pure joy to see the believers once again, assembling in the name of Christ. Normally this mid-week meeting consists of a testimony time, sharing prayer requests, and praying, but since we were there, Craig recommended that six testimonies be shared, alternating Mexican and American, with Craig translating.

Craig joked that they didn't know what to call us. Americanos? No, Mexico is part of North America. (The USA is usually called Estados Unidos in Mexico) Are we estadounidenses? No; technically Mexico is the United States of Mexico (Estados Unidos de Mexico). So what's left? Gringos? That's a derogatory term in the USA, so let's not use that. Now what? Gueros! Yes, let's use that! When Marshall and I were playing dominoes with Nancy and Cuco, I learned that guera is the term for the blank/white tiles. So the Mexicans joked that we should be called the same thing, since we are so light-skinned! It was hilarious!

The testimony from a man named Josue (introduced on Sunday) was especially moving. As he recounted how he came to belive in Christ as his Savior, he could not hold back tears. He came from a violent, alcoholic home, and followed in his parents' footsteps. He became a boxer and a champion in the state, but nothing satisfied him. Finally the gospel was preached to him and the Holy Spirit opened his eyes to the truth and he was saved. He had only been saved about a year and two months at that time, but he obviously loves the Lord and is growing daily, though his parents and siblings are still un saved. Thankfully his wife Lupita is also saved.

That testimony time was such good fellowship, and enabled us to get to know one another a more on a deeper level. We ran out of time for prayer, unfortunately. Afterward I gave Josue a hug and said "Voy a orar por tu familia" (I will pray for your family). With tears still in his eyes he thanked me.

We had some refreshments afterwards—Coke of course—and some more fellowship. Eventually someone got us visitors together for a group photo...which quickly turned into a visitors-and-instant-brothers-and-sisters photo as some dear Mexicans joined us!

Back: Fernando (the guitarist), Ken, Scott, Caleb, Ryan, Marshall, and Josue (who shared his testimony)
Middle: Fernando's sister, Samuel (who preached in the street) holding Betito (whom you will see later), me, Amy, Emily, Beth, Celina, and Alberto
Front: Willie, Josue, and Oscar

There was setting on a table in the room a can for collections to help fund Fernando's trip to Turkey, coming up soon. He was going to visit the Landrums' oldest daughter, Sarah, and her husband Jerry who are missionaries there. He is burdened for the Turks and may become a missionary. I was happy to contribute some to his trip. Fernando also had a handful of leather souvenier bracelets he gave to each of us as a reminder of him and our trip to Mexico. I'm not a bracelet-wearing man, but I couldn't say no. It was a gift from a beloved friend!

When it came time to say good-bye, we knew we would see some people the next day when we would go to Lagos de Moreno to a swim park, but for those we wouldn't see, it was sad. Might we return next year? I don't know, but the common bond in Christ ties our hearts together forever. We shall see each other again some day, even if it's in heaven.

Mexico: Part 9

Wednesday, March 15, continued.

After the afternoon tract distribution, we drove back to Craig and Brenda's house. We hung around on the sidewalk talking to Alberto until he had to go to work. He is a dentist and works in the afternoons till about nine o'clock PM.

It was around this time that Beth and Celina arrived from their day of outings with their host family.

Somehow or other, some believers from the Leon West church helped transport us all over to a neighborhood on the west side of the city for evangelism. The neighborhood over there was poorer than where we all were staying. The roads were rather beat up and the houses didn't seem as nice. Some of the men set up a power inverter to their truck's battery and plugged in a large amp to make a rudimentary PA system. Then they took turns preaching the gospel to the whole neighborhood!


We Americans were handed many home-made tracts to hand out to the inhabitants of the neighborhood. Those soon ran out, so some others and I were writing the contact phone number for that area on the backs of the other tracts we had, and the rest of the Americans passed them out.

There were quite a number of young people from the West church there too: Chuy, Samuel, Stephanie, and more that I didn't meet. When one of the men finished his address from the top of the street, they moved down a block, set up the amplifier again and another preacher took over. Samuel, who was 16 years old took a turn too, and it was awesome to see him despite his youth unashamedly preaching the gospel.

Once again, Celina's fluency with Spanish was a blessing as she was able to explain the gospel to several children on the sidewalk. I'm sorry the photo quality is poor, but it was at night under street lights. Celina is at the 11:00 position in the circle on the ground, looking at the girl on her right.

You may recall my reluctance on Sunday to hand out tracts, but thankfully this evening was different. Especially because of observing Alberto's method in the afternoon, I was more comfortable and more eager to give tracts to people and converse a little in Spanish.

I felt rather put to shame by those who knew very little Spanish but used what they could. Here I was, knowing more than they did, but fearing to use it: What if they respond too fast or say something I don't understand? How silly! I have an ability; I should use to the fullest what God has blessed me with and let Him worry about the details! So I did.

"Buenas noches, señor. Le regalo un folletito." I could be pleasant and personable by using the greeting, like Alberto did, and be confident they would be happy to take something free. We passed them to people riding by on bicycles, people walking by on the cross street—everyone.

Oh, if only all those people would take the best Gift that's free! Everyone wants a handout, except when it regards his eternal destiny.

It was getting rather late and we had to get back to our homes, so we began to say goodbye to the West church believers, knowing we wouldn't see each other again on this trip. However, Ken found out that Stephanie knew some English and also had Skype on her computer, so he gave her his e-mail address. Then she went around gathering as much contact information from us all as she could.

(Fast forward to back home, she had some problems with Skype for some reason, so we have communicated using MSN messenger. Samuel also has Messenger and he and I have chatted a few times, he in English and I in Spanish!)

We enjoyed some joking and laughter together and then shook hands and hugged everyone good bye. It was delightful to know them all as brothers and sisters in Christ, and that gave us special comfort, since though we may not see each other again in this age, we shall see each other in eternity!

Back at our Mexican home again, we had supper after 9:30, I think. Typical. We stayed up with until around midnight, playing dominos. And of course we joked a lot. ¡Nancy es muy chistosa! She jokes a lot, and we had some running jokes during the whole week! You had to be there, you know?

Mexico: Part 8

Wednesday, March 15

Now I really regret that I did not write about this trip sooner, because more details are escaping me.

It was wonderful to wake up to comfortable temperatures and low humidity—a combination rarely experienced in Connecticut. The days were always sunny and we didn't have to worry about rain clouding our schedule. On la agenda today was door-to-door tract distribution.

Before breakfast, Nancy put on a CD of Christian music, and I enjoyed hearing God-honoring songs sung in Spanish. I still remember one of the songs: "Yo soy Alpha y Omega, principio y fin" (I am Alpha and Omega, beginning and end).

One of these days we had cereal for breakfast—Cornflakes or a Nestle's version of Cocoa Puffs—and vanilla gelatino, or pudding. It was nice and quick, though not distinctly Mexican!

Josue made it to school on time, so Nancy took us to the Landrums' home via the oruga. Now that we had more experience with the bus system, we noted what was the stop for the Landrums'.

Yesterday Caleb invited Ken or me to bring a devotional at the team time today. I replied I had some thoughts I could share, which is what I did. Starting from 2 Timothy 4:1-21 I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by His appearing and His kingdom: 2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction., we looked at what last words Paul, at the end of his life, had to give to his son in the faith Timothy. We were encouraged to live all our lives for the Lord, to please Him, and looked at how these verses relate to 1 Peter 1:13-1913 Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, 15 but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; 16 because it is written, "YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY." 17 If you address as Father the One who impartially judges according to each one's work, conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay on earth; 18 knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, 19 but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ. and 2 Corinthians 5:9-11,14-159 Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. 11 Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade men, but we are made manifest to God; and I hope that we are made manifest also in your consciences.
14For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; 15 and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.

After the main meeting of Team Time was finished, while we were waiting for lunch to be ready, Ryan began folding some more origami objects. Now Caleb grew up in Japan, where his father teaches english in a school (if I recall correctly), so he was interested in trying his hand at folding a paper crane. While he did, he also explained to us some of the Japanese words written on the instruction sheet. I found out Origami is pronounced correctly when you pronounce it with a Spanish accent! I also folded a paper flower, which Scott wanted to learn how to do. So here's a picture of us all folding paper before lunch.

Amy, Ryan, Caleb, me, Scott.

The plan for the afternoon was to drive to some nearby neigborhoods and make some first contacts with the people, giving out tracts and gospels of John. We were expecting a certain number of fluent Spanish speakers to arrive to help us with this task, but a few didn't show up, so Craig had to make some adjustments. One major adjustment was when he said, "Ken, you speak pretty well; why don't you go out with Ryan [not me] and Zeke." Ken was surprised, but accepted the assignment. He didn't do too badly at it either, he tells me. He speaks better than I do.

So Bob DeLaine and his 8-year-old son Zeke arrived, and Celia and Alberto from the church. Bob took Ken, Ryan, Emily, Marshall, and Zeke in his pickup truck.

Marshall and Zeke

Ken and Ryan

Willie, Celia, Scott, Amy, and I all packed into Alberto's Jetta. Since Amy was the lightest, she sat on Scott's lap in the front seat. Caleb stayed behind and went out with Brenda to their neighborhood. Beth and Celina were not with us today but spent the day with their hosts, Luis & Yola.

When we arrived in the neighborhood of Manzanares, Alberto, Amy, and I set out to cover a block together. Alberto pointed out to us his own house, a mere two streets over! He said that last year he was saved as a result of people passing out tracts door to door! Oh, what motivation that was, to know that such evangelism worked! And here we were doing the same thing that led him to the Lord.

Not long into knocking on gates and doors, we met a man who was a Christian, who had been saved many years ago as a result of the ministry of some missionaries who worked in Leon before the Landrums started there: the Beattys. As we moved on, we encountered a old lady with deteriorating eyesight who had spent many years teaching catechism in the Catholic church, and was relying on her works to enter heaven. It was sad to see she was set in her ways. I think she did receive a gospel of John, though.

We stopped at many houses; at a good number no one was home. Sometimes we gave the tracts to children in the street to deliver to their parents.

At one house, my ears perked up at the sound of parakeets. Having had parakeets all my growing up years, I was delighted to hear the happy chirps so far away from my home. It turned out that several houses had these little cages of parakeets hanging in their garage/patios.

When we were on the last street Alberto greeted a woman in her sixties mopping the floor of her garage/patio. She spoke really fast, so I didn't get much of what she said, but I could read her body language and expressions quite well! She wasn't at all interested in taking a gospel of John, and thought it a curiousity that Alberto was passing them out. She was kind of scoffing at Alberto, but was friendly enough. She seemed to appreciate his sincerity in passing out the gospels, but her attitude towards him was condescending, as one might regard a child trying to do something his own way. In the end, she still wouldn't take the gospel.

A quick note and a link

Hi everybody, I just wanted to write a quick note to say I do intend to continue my account of Mexico, and I do have more I want to blog about, but I just haven't had time lately. So for any of you checking my blog every day there is more coming.

I just read a post over at Doulogos that was very true and motivating, concerning our relationship with the Lord and the effect it has on our prayer life. It's certainly a matter I need to deal with in my own life. Here are a few excerpts:

God doesn't answer prayers because your faith is greater than the guy beside you - he answers prayers because you are in communion with him through your continued willingness to obey....

God doesn't demand perfection as a prerequisite to communion - but He is rightly aloof from those too proud or lazy to continue in obedience.